Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
id be glad to
where does the pee come out of this thing
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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