U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
