k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
