Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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