I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize