Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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