Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
