I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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