I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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