i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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