What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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