I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
