dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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