People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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