Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
