When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
