is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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