There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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