Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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