Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
