But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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