I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
