So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
