Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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