can we get nightvision for the apartment?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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