I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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