Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
