Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
