Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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