Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
