You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize