ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
