I want to stick my p in your. b.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
