how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
