dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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