Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
