U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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