the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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