There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
