Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
