i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
