Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
