i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
