broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm just crazy horny about you
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
