I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize