So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
