Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
