we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
