No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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