So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
