I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just google imaged poop.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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