drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
