he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
