i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
