His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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