He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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