He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he shaved USA in his pubs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
