Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
