im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
