so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize