I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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