Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He felt like a one man threesome
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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