and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
