Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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